At long last, you have received a promotion to VP. You’re in your first executive leadership team meeting. The CEO asks each leader for their views on workforce planning. Everyone speaks confidently, assertively, and clearly as the discussion continues. They use statements instead of questions. They reference trends and board expectations like they’re discussing the weather.
Your turn arrives. You have insights to share—good ones—but in the moment, you find yourself hedging. “I think maybe we could consider…” You hear yourself explaining rather than declaring. And as you speak, you notice a voice in your head asking: “Should I be more like them? But if I am, will I still be me?”
Sound familiar?
What happened here?
You’ve heard that to influence the C-suite, you need “executive presence.” But when you try to develop it, something feels wrong. You might sense you’re putting on a performance, adopting a persona that doesn’t quite fit. The question becomes: Is executive presence something you build or something you fake?
Many leaders struggle with this exact tension. The organization promoted them for their true leadership style. They connect well with others and show strong emotional intelligence. Now they’re asking if they should trade it all for a polished, “executive” version of themselves.
There is no “executive presence” costume.
The idea that you must change who you are to have executive presence is wrong. What senior leaders respond to isn’t a performance—its conviction paired with clarity. The leaders with genuine executive presence aren’t the ones who’ve mastered the costume. They express their views confidently while being true to themselves.
Think about the executives you most respect. Do they all look, sound, and act the same? Or do they each bring a distinct point of view, communicated in their own authentic way? Executive presence isn’t about conforming to some imagined standard. It’s about showing up fully as yourself while meeting the moment with the clarity and conviction it requires.
Presence isn’t personality—it’s practice.
“The real you is not what you present to the world. It’s what you bring to the conversation.” – Unknown
I worked with a newly promoted CHRO—let’s call her Maya—who was struggling with this exact challenge. Maya had built her career on being approachable, collaborative, and deeply people focused. She asked great questions and genuinely listened to the answers. Her team loved her for it.
In her first few months as CHRO, she noticed something troubling. In executive meetings, her collaborative style was being interpreted as uncertainty. When she asked questions to understand different perspectives, others saw hesitation. When she acknowledged complexity, they heard indecisiveness. The feedback from her CEO was direct: “I need you to show up with more executive presence.”
Maya’s first instinct was to copy those around her. She spoke more assertively, asked fewer questions, and tried to show confidence, even when she didn’t feel it. It felt terrible. She was performing, not leading. And it wasn’t working.
In our coaching talks, Maya learned that having executive presence isn’t about changing who she is. It was about three specific practices she could adopt while remaining completely herself.
Three practices that build presence without performance.
Practice 1: Lead with your point of view.
Executive presence begins with having a point of view and stating it clearly at the start of any contribution. This doesn’t mean having all the answers. It means being willing to stake a claim about what you believe matters most.
Maya’s pattern had been to start with context, share multiple perspectives, and then ease into her recommendation. This worked beautifully with her team. In the executive suite, it came across as rambling.
She began practicing a simple shift: “Here’s what I believe we should do and why.” Then she’d share her reasoning. Same thoughtfulness, same values—but structured to meet the moment differently.
What’s your point of view on the strategic challenge your organization is facing right now? Can you state it in one clear sentence? That’s where presence begins.
Practice 2: Distinguish between exploring and deciding.
One of Maya’s greatest strengths was her ability to hold complexity and consider multiple angles. This served her team well in problem-solving sessions. In executive meetings focused on decision-making, it created confusion about where she stood.
The shift wasn’t to stop valuing complexity. It was to be explicit about which mode she was in. When exploring: “I want to understand the different perspectives here before we decide.” When deciding: “Having considered the options, here’s where I land.”
Same collaborative style. Different framing that gave others clarity about where she was in her thinking process.
How often do you signal to others whether you’re exploring or deciding? What would change if you named this explicitly?
Practice 3: Own your questions as a strategy, not as uncertainty.
Maya loved asking questions—it was core to who she was as a leader. But she began to hold back, afraid that questions might make her look unsure. What she came to understand was that strategic questions were a form of executive presence, not a contradiction of it.
The difference is in how you frame them. “I’m wondering if maybe we’ve thought about…” signals uncertainty. “The question I believe we need to answer before we proceed is…” signals strategic thinking.
Maya started giving context to her questions. She said, “Before we choose this approach, I want to confirm our assumption about retention. What proof do we have that this will keep our top performers engaged?” Same curiosity, different framing.
What questions are you not asking because you’re worried they will undermine your presence? And what if those questions are exactly what demonstrate your strategic thinking?
When presence becomes authentic.
Six months into practicing these shifts, something interesting happened with Maya. The feedback changed. Her CEO noted that she was “really stepping into her role.” Her peers started seeking her perspective before meetings. Maya felt the change. She showed up with more confidence. This wasn’t about changing who she was. Instead, she learned to express herself in ways that fit the situation.
Here’s what she said in one of our last coaching sessions: “I see now that executive presence isn’t about being someone else. It’s about being myself and being clear about what I believe and why it matters.”
The leaders around her didn’t need her to be less collaborative, less thoughtful, or less emotionally intelligent. They needed her to be clear. And clarity, it turns out, is a practice anyone can develop while remaining completely authentic.
What becomes possible?
Stop pretending to have executive presence. Focus on clear and confident communication, and things will change. You speak with more confidence because you’re not managing a persona. Others listen differently because they can feel the authenticity behind your words. You build influence not by fitting some standard, but by being your true self—just clearer.
What’s one conversation coming up this week where you could practice leading with your point of view? And what becomes possible when you do?
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